the human spirit and Kleenex

I've returned from a two and half week suspension deep into the heart of Neverland. Lots of souvenirs from this trip, tons of writing, a terrible sinus infection, packs of Wrigley's peppermint gum, and the oddest of emotional revelations. Strange things tend to happen in that very strange country. I call Israel a strange place because it never welcomes its visitors. Jerusalem has always struck me as an indifferent female that breeds a certain contempt, an exhaustion with reality, a bewilderment of life as we live it. Strangely she is the mother that calls us home from our exile to better reprimand us Maybe that's why we go there. To feel that budding slap on our cheeks, to be reminded that we know so little about essential life, so little about the true world, and sadly so very little about our essential selves. Maybe we go there to be reminded of the depth and breadth of the struggling human spirit, to stumble as we travel the many valleys and mountaintops of the awkward soul. I'm not sure... but it strikes me that Israel is not the place to find what you are looking for, but to better realize that you are still looking for something... it is the place without answers, only questions.
The randomness of this entire adventure was welcoming, even if it took a while to get used to. I like that every now and then life throws me some ironic curve ball that still manages to stun me and leave me in shocked breathlessness. It's always funny when you compare the expectations before the trip with where you truly ended up on the flight home (of course while listening to that Armageddon song "Jetplane").
Last week there was majorly gross weather. Rain, rain, rain and that fierce cold that lodges in your bones and refuses to leave. I've been cold for over a week until I finally thawed out in my kitchen. For this reason I spent much of the time scribbling in The Coffee Bean (basically Starbux transplanted in Jerusalem) sans the caffeine (which i could no longer afford at that point [16 shekel a cup]). They also have the nicest cleanest toilets in the Ben Yehuda area (in case you were wondering). I met so many interesting and wonderful young men and women (if i call them kids i'll be stoned). I never got much into the younger crowd, and now that I sort of have, I must say that there are some seriously amazing people two steps behind us... let's see...
Spent some time with a lovely young lass (who i met randomly and was leaving that day at 5am) and a bellhop (those things you take your luggage into hotels with). Loaded up all our baggage and pulled a Trigger Happy TV. Went sailing all around Jerusalem (best hills on Rechov Hillel and biggest obstacle course Revhov Aggripas). a blast. people snapping away at us screaming lunatics. returned it (cuz she had to catch her flight) at about 2 am (after getting another freebie steak sandwich from New Deli). yum. good sandwich. good free fun...
also met up with Rivkah Naditch (who works at this adorable American bar called Sugar Hill). went home with her and slept with her cutie cat. fab fab. i have readjusted my previous notions on the feline race. nearly straight from airport went to little cousin Faigy's lechayim. so nice. only good times...blessings and lots of love.....
In conclusion-
nothing turned out the way i had initially planned it (as life usually does that)... apartment was uninhabitable, people failed to meet expectaions, and was forced to change dwelling places frequently, hell even the weather was highly uncooperative. Still, despite all this, the trip was really great simply because I was forced to ditch my plans, what i had thought before i got there and just go with it....wherever the IT ended up.
this trip affirmed my place in the school of thought that you learn the most when you least expect it, the damp cold-toes experiences that somehow impart a sense of warmth that you simply cannot pinpoint...
and by the way-
"you don't have a soul. you are a SOUL. you have a body."
c.s. lewis in the spirit of finding Alice in her very strange Wonderland.