me'thinks Gd must be a woman too
"Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
"Well...You can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret...you know, woman to woman."
finals over. happy living.
"What's the problem, Eve?"
I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
"Well...You can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret...you know, woman to woman."
finals over. happy living.
posted by HindiK at 4:51 PM
1 Comments:
You may be a Lubaby if you or one you love;
* never got to dress up for a prom,
* spoke in sentences like "I threw my mother out the window a towel" and "how much you wanna make a million dollar bet?" ,
* have been asked your DOB and responded in a foreign language,
* visited grandma to watch TV,
* at one point wondered why mommy needed to marry totty if hashem was the one who gave mommy the baby, well-you know what I mean.
* can navigate to anywhere in NYC via the 2, 3, or 4, lines,
* walked up to complete strangers without introducing yourself or caring what their name was, and asked them to role up their sleeve and repeat tongue twisters like Uvelechtecho,
* have been to more countries then most people you know,
* have had a walkman confiscated because it had a radio,
* have been kicked out of a Yeshiva for speaking to members of the opposite sex,
* had to get a Good Enough Diploma,
* thought you were the coolest cuz you knew all the words to destiny and journeys,
* thought being in fashion referred to Borsalino vs. Huckel,
* can relate to classifications such as “fried out, snag, hunky, FFB, BT, and Gezsha”
* have at one point received a leather bound chitas with your name on it, and recently been notified that it has been spotted on another continent,
* started drinking at the age of 6,
* knew vodka & whiskey by their more popular names “veisseh odder gelleh”
* were at one point able to guestimate a girls age based on whether their skirt was blue or green,
* were only allowed to eat 212,
* get harassed about "Yechi" and their views on the Rebbe/Moshiach controversy,
* put up with the CH yente association,
* dare to take the path less traveled, but still manage to retain an embedded respect. If you or anyone you know can relate to any of the above, this one goes out to you, ;-)
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