living on a treadmill

i hate treadmills. i like to run outside. in the rain. in the snow. with the scenery flying around me. in real space. in real time. with oxygen bursting from my lungs. burning my body till it burns inside out. i live on a treadmill sometimes. over and over the same ground, reconciling bad habits and making new ones unconsciously. i can't do this anymore. i hate it. its hyprocritical. its cowardly. its not genuine living.
so yea, been meditating on the rosh hashanah concept. its about awareness. awareness of relationships and that they matter. stasis, even if its moving in the same place, is still stasis, and as such cannot be tolerated. progress, true progress, is self-reflexive and ever changing.
hebrew school starts tomorrow. this is the message. this is it. process for teachers and their students... a process for us all... cuz there's no end to the process...
k
still in my office. and need to finish getting stuff up for tomorrow.
man. i'm so going away in december....