Is it normal to want to delete your blog every time you log onto it? I hate it. I love it. It's my only current form of free writing, pathetically, it is my only form of creative writing...

i am posting more often than i ever was... more time? more fallacious thoughts? more publicly shared stupidities? a dying creativity? an exhausted artistic conscienceness?

bear with me here. i'm on the backlash of an incredible high.... i am feeling it slowly slip through my body, through my legs...it's a torturous sensation...every adrenaline charged atom is excrutiating, pulling...sucking...taking it all out of me into an indifferent vortex of gravity. damn reality. i've had the most fabulous experience this morning and i am angred by its departure. i am furious that i have no choice but to embrace the process. i am pissed as hell that it's leaving me.

maybe i'm blaming this blog.
maybe i'm blaming myself.
maybe i should stop drinking so much fuel inspired coffee...


my fingers are crying...
they miss the piano
they miss pens and paper...
i wish i had more time to really write what i wanted to...