initially i went to sleep early tonight... despite having Shine on DVD. To no avail. I cannot sleep. I toss , I turn, two books later, four different sleeping positions later, new pillows, old pillows, lavendar pillows...niente dormire...nada...nothing.... i hate it when i am tired, exhausted, need the sleep, and just can't get it. what's that poem... those sleep poems? The one by Daniels "sweet charmer sleep"... maybe i'll conjur up some potion of poetic boredom to de-engage my heightened senses...
In my sheer desperation i sign online to see who is up on the other side of the globe. There's nothign to do... no tests to study for (grades are in by the by- so now i don't even have stress to do), no trip to embark on (tho' i need to store sleep for tuesday)... what an odd odd hour to be up. In my nocturnal commune book there's a chapter on post 4 am. Basically the book tells you to give up trying and do something.... i am going to an early Bikram class- simply because the heat of the room will swoon me to sleep- i don't care if i rest through out the entire two hour session. I don't have the strength to perform my best- and I don't care.... i need to relax....breathe and maybe collapse in a room of 110 degree heat and sweat.
No one seems to be up. Creepily cyberspace is deserted- and I am already well underway in destroying all communications with any current diurnal sides of the globe. amazing how you could overcome all normal decorum in conversation and simply babble to complete strangers... horrible habit i've fallen into- one i am resolved to break.
Nights like these I wish I had cable, or a dog to walk, or a Connecticut Muffin on my corner to go buy early morning coffee adn the paper, a european cafe to brew me jet fuel espresso (aah, my 4 am dawns in Venice.... i miss it, i miss it) .... alas, none of these are readily available to me... amazing how highly intense day time could be.... life could be...schedule could be...and then suddenly at night... you wait. your body waits. your mind waits. for the sweet salvation of blissful rest- hours of endless quiet that the whole world slumbers thru... feels almost illegal to be up- like i should knock a frying pan over my head and force myself out of consciousness- not to be up in this hot, humid night..... the birds are already chirping- the sky's an electric blue- and I, tired, but used to this rather short-changed invigorating state- shall embrace the day... with, thankfully, ever present casks of body polluting caffeine...
In my sheer desperation i sign online to see who is up on the other side of the globe. There's nothign to do... no tests to study for (grades are in by the by- so now i don't even have stress to do), no trip to embark on (tho' i need to store sleep for tuesday)... what an odd odd hour to be up. In my nocturnal commune book there's a chapter on post 4 am. Basically the book tells you to give up trying and do something.... i am going to an early Bikram class- simply because the heat of the room will swoon me to sleep- i don't care if i rest through out the entire two hour session. I don't have the strength to perform my best- and I don't care.... i need to relax....breathe and maybe collapse in a room of 110 degree heat and sweat.
No one seems to be up. Creepily cyberspace is deserted- and I am already well underway in destroying all communications with any current diurnal sides of the globe. amazing how you could overcome all normal decorum in conversation and simply babble to complete strangers... horrible habit i've fallen into- one i am resolved to break.
Nights like these I wish I had cable, or a dog to walk, or a Connecticut Muffin on my corner to go buy early morning coffee adn the paper, a european cafe to brew me jet fuel espresso (aah, my 4 am dawns in Venice.... i miss it, i miss it) .... alas, none of these are readily available to me... amazing how highly intense day time could be.... life could be...schedule could be...and then suddenly at night... you wait. your body waits. your mind waits. for the sweet salvation of blissful rest- hours of endless quiet that the whole world slumbers thru... feels almost illegal to be up- like i should knock a frying pan over my head and force myself out of consciousness- not to be up in this hot, humid night..... the birds are already chirping- the sky's an electric blue- and I, tired, but used to this rather short-changed invigorating state- shall embrace the day... with, thankfully, ever present casks of body polluting caffeine...
posted by HindiK at 5:22 AM
5 Comments:
lets go back to the very beginning shall we? initially you went to BED early tonight. the rest is just redundant. your mom probably never let you cry as a baby. falling asleep is a learned skill, much like any other, with one catch, it must be mastered early in life or youre bound for a string of never ending wakefulness. take advantage for it seems as if that is when youre at your most creative.
actually Anon-
according to my mother i never woke up in the middle of the night. I slept so much she took me to a doctor... so don't know about your theory...
but yes, i am a nocturnal one- something about being up at the night, the quiet is just soothing and nightime tends to heighten all other senses...
by the by Phantom-
I got the soundtrack from a friend-
thought you lost interest in my little blogworld-
although you are not quite as haunting as you were...
yeah i fluctuate. sometimes i gain and lose interest based on the interesting or the not.
well hello
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