sweet sweet.... discomfort

Happy Happy New Year 2 All!

[i hope no one else was dumb like me to trek to school @ 8am for cancelled classes ;)]

Heard a wise word: "You only think when you're uncomfortable"

[And I mean in a particular sense]

May we have everything we want, should want and oughta want,

and a year of profound discomfort.

Shana Tova

alogrithms, wigs from lakewood and REVOLUTION

yes, i'm tired. but in the-happy-spaced-out, living-in-the-twilight-zone-stressed-sans-the-negative-connotations way. hebrew school is off to a smashing start...in fact, anyone looking for a chance to join the revolution, let me know we have sum openings for the conscious.
in computer class now, trying to sneak this typing...teacher is a mathematician from lakewood, girl next to me just whispered "omg, she's wearing a wig". i have no idea what alogrithm is, let alone alogrithm2 and its relation to computers... [the only java i know, i drink]. thesis is chugging along... i reckon i've read a book per page by now [50 pgs. that is]. last night, driving home from jersey at midnight while eating my exciting dinner of a can of peas was thinking about general life flutterings and the fulfillment of hard work. people don't really work hard anymore, they're complaisant and uninterested... the winds of resolve are blowing and no one seems to feel them. Why? At Basking Ridge our new teaching methodology is called WHY Teaching- a curriculum of conscious...and yet it seems the world is more automaton-like than ever. Then again, i suppose one could argue, how do you know if you are actually conscious? or consciously-unconscious? what is the nature of consciousness? and at what moment can you ascertain its existence? in truth, i don't know...
i don't know what alogrithms are, either.
but revolution is a burst of consciousness...

Lovely
Lovely
Lvely
.....................RAIN

living on a treadmill

i hate treadmills. i like to run outside. in the rain. in the snow. with the scenery flying around me. in real space. in real time. with oxygen bursting from my lungs. burning my body till it burns inside out. i live on a treadmill sometimes. over and over the same ground, reconciling bad habits and making new ones unconsciously. i can't do this anymore. i hate it. its hyprocritical. its cowardly. its not genuine living.
so yea, been meditating on the rosh hashanah concept. its about awareness. awareness of relationships and that they matter. stasis, even if its moving in the same place, is still stasis, and as such cannot be tolerated. progress, true progress, is self-reflexive and ever changing.
hebrew school starts tomorrow. this is the message. this is it. process for teachers and their students... a process for us all... cuz there's no end to the process...
k
still in my office. and need to finish getting stuff up for tomorrow.
man. i'm so going away in december....

the ballad to paint encrusted fingernails

can't sleep. shocker. not that i've really given it a fair try... truly you should be in bed if you'd like to sleep, hard to have issues with Big Brother Insomnia when you're painting nonsense in your office at 3am listening to the rather interesting music pre-downloaded on your laptop. so i guess i can't complain... Mark Knofpler [5:15 am on the Shangri-La album- go figure.]. still in Jersey [feel like i've been here forever]. been at meetings all day...working all night and somehow tho i'm tired i can't seem to bring myself to sleep... this seems like the only time to be. just be. all day long i'm busy with exploration, responsibility, time and space and my professional/collegial relationships... night is nothing. night is not vacant...but not quite there...an odd form of undefined spirit... especially nights like these...with green fingers leaving Jackson Pollack like potholes on my laptop keys... guess i'll stay up a little longer... to just be.