Friday, January 28, 2005

One night i sought the Darkness-
to which i always turn
And asked to recall the moment
that made the Fires burn
Death sat before me
as a comforting old friend
held my hand warmly-
and scarred my flesh again.
As as i slowly fell
into blissful, troubled sorrow
i was gone in vacuumed depths
in Sisyphus' brow
there, unbound by logic
Silent to Memory
i feared no escape of truth
locked in circle's misery.
Whether I climb or hide
still aches my weary back
that life's survival plagues
when paradigms attack.
i thought myself so alone
on doomed sacred path
that in this dawn mirror-
i can do no more than laugh.
"color was not given to us in order that we should imitate Nature. It was given to us so that we can epress our own emotions..." -Henri Matisse (as if that's surpising)

Nothing will come from this moment-
nothing will be lost but aching memory.


"How, if someday or night a daemon were to sneak after you into your loneliest loneliness adn say to you, 'this life as you now lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; (as in Sisyphus) and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything immeasurably great or small in your life must return to you- all in the same succession and sequence..' would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the daemon who spoke thus? or did you once experience a tremendous moment when you would have answered him, 'you are a god, and never have i heard anything more godly'..[H]ow well disposed would you have become to yourself and to life to crave NOTHING MORE FERVENTLY than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?'
- Freidrich Nietzche
"The Gay Science" 1882, S. 34I

as my jasmine tea goes cold...

we live only once
an extraordinary existence
that happens for a single
second of time.
a moment amidst the chaos
of eras
of eons
of ages.
we remain unknown
are uncharted.
so what evil does it cause
to submit-
to escape the insanity
to be purged of self.
at the Peak of sin
where no art-
can bestow vision.


the music must be louder
to block out the
cacophony
of stupidity.


the world is laughing tears
escaping thoughts and magic
individual tunnels crowd
trapped in Shallow's tragic.
crazed from losing God
running from sweet must
Graces that rebell alike
and forgot the means to fuse
theories to explain
mimics rape wiht fear
construct a claim of love
he who only dare.

in the depths of night i call to you
to relieve my weakened pain-
to remove the dull sirens
with a quiet dismissive rain.
in the bowels of this eve i beseech you!
to cease to play that song!
To Heaven! to Earth!
release that vow
you have led me wrong!
the birds are silent now-
nestled in darkened trees
the moonlight is upon my cheek
winds seduce the breeze
all are sedated
as the Lady spins her gace
mockeries gods behold
in this anomoly of fates-
the clocks tick
duest to that tolling bell
the sky is pure and silver
and burns a surest Hell.

i close my eyes in remorseful silence, letting the burens free
immersed in blissful contentment, breathes of false liberty
heavy weighs ambition, inflicting is the Thought
simplicity is unattainable, desires to remain untaught.
Tired feet and empowered mind have finding ways to cure
within the peaks of horizon kissing the lost awaiting shore.
no closure in the beginnings in the carrying self to wear
yet he who lacks hurt shoulders has truly that to fear.

i have gone to many places
and searched myself in reflection
in those teeming crowds
i found only dark eyes
that looked straight ahead.
until i realized
that i was headed there too
and all the scenery passed me
missing
all the holiness
of the daily sun.


if things mean less and you are not a child of blue light
if you sleep easy unrelated
for beauty beauty goes the night.
the caress of a still Self, wher no light seals the air
we risk it all because we live it all
and then perched in the ascending valley
with the abyss amiss
we fall.
time of healing skin grows thick on that tear
the heart may hold more fragments
but the blood knows no fear.


black imprints on the soul do not die-
falsely cease upon this hour in yet another languished cry.
breeds a devoured flesh in a hopeless silent game
laughing still. laughing at the sound of the name-
the words that just cannot forgive
pictures are brighter when history lives.

the child of fire
of passion-
of anger-
birthed by tempest seas
beget by turbulent skies
in teh winds of high destruction
in black rage.
the child of water-
of streams love
of devoted unity-
the arrogance embodied
to relinquish some great
Whirl of light.
some explosive new Self
that will birth God.
the child of dual energies
is high in a sphere of crack
gulping life through the nostril
and sleeping until death.
and with that dead shattering
came a great light
in an energy expressed to fail
of broken intention
from a loss of birth
to escape into blind redepmtion
drops its vitality
within this sphere
in teh realization that
the passion is light.


"nothing else remains that i can do for you- or that will pleasure you. i am sleeping with someone else, but its you I love, dearest to me all. in the name of Aphrodite, i am happy about one thing, that your cloak has been left to me as a pledge. but i flee and permit you expenses of freedom. do you anything you desire. do not strike teh wall it only mkes noise. we will motion to each other; this will be the sign between us." inscription from Sidonian cave- circa 2nd century bce



i went into the city tonight
i was starving and looking for food
i had finished a long penance
a starvation that left me famished.
i went into the city tonight
i found restaurants and eateries
i found bright lights and loud people
and there i stood and looked to eat.
i went into the city tonight
to the color and the noise
deep into the laughing and dancing
i was dying for something to eat...
i went into the city tonight
and came back.
completely parched
no longer looking to eat-
slowly letting the hunger
ebb.



for man to be hid from pains or have the courage to place
the tears wept in open silence with all guts and sheer face
Self lust expand or self hate plummet in either direction
to search in vain for tools of change or die in utter perfection?
to feel the pain in mirrors or shameless palms of blood
unstill and forging endlessly in forgotten pools of mud-
is it truly greater to be blinded by life's grace
or to stab the living eye on a blackened dirty face?




to earth in her purest form-
before the destruction of that ceaseless wave
the rhythmn of too much
yet the sound of too little
'Tis hot
burning with particular passion
holding...
until the clouds succeed in seduction
meeting her in splendor...
retreating...
still unattainable
falling back to indifferent balance
of the desert lover.
she reaches.
flowing through thte air
like a swelling river-
escaping into the depth-
drowning in teh secrets
into the peace and eternal quiet
i am returning to you
great rhythm of birth.

i live in memory-
and have never lived a real day
when all these words mean nothing
because we've never spoken
when all the beautiful poems
are forgotten and lost
in a wasteland of feeling
we are clinging to a past
a failure that is no more
and its easy to live there.
we're wrong now
in this quest for blame
we are in
an emptiness that leaves nothing.


from the drowning depths of muck and mud
rise brilliant light of hope
your tears are caught by angels
who come before him
present those tarnished gift
above the devotion of others.


is this it?
the late night cafes that just sit and sit
in little French bubbles
with cute waitresses
sitting until dawn forces movement
for no reason.
casual flirtations with boredom
because when you sit a whole night
it is possible to smoke the entire existence
by daybreak.
because we're never serious
or we would be admitting too much
and that just wouldn't work
with the pace of schedule.
wiht the way people live here
with the way things end up.
because we all end up wasting our time
because life is so much easier
to handle that way
and at daybreak-
you can find something as worthless
as the coffee
that fuels your day
and wastes your night.


the waters that drown
are the water that build
thousands of bodies
thousands of souls
within sweeping waves
that become existence
that washes a purified world
in long stormy nights
in long soaked days
burst forth to be one
fusion of praising foam
oceans that lift the ark of man
into the blackness
and in the destruction
where beats the great luminary.

and here i sit
reading and rereading
replaying life in a thousand directions
wondering...
if i will ever be right
if i was ever really wrong
it is in the desperation of longing
in confusion of contrasting emotions
that we seek to hold onto something
any binding element of normalcy
and we will sacrifice so much for it.
we do not need to possess some lost talent
or captivate the ears of millions
to be heard.
we need only to listen to a single heart
to know we reflect a greater truth
wihtin a force of wild color
within the sound of some carnival of light
in a universal language of man
that our paper serves not as a stage
but as a platform of justice
as a world of thought and art
we are not all masters of uniqueness
of unknown pathos and suffering
but life
is the breath of all creatures
reflects the image of thousands
and can live in the eyes of all.


Thursday, January 27, 2005

AUJOURD'HUI

thrilling day thus far...
my best man, Yudah, and i made these funky snowman (and woman) cookies...being that i suffer from domestic handicap- coated them in chocolate and sprinkles.... blessed sugar. rented napoleon dynamite for tonight's entertainment on advice of Princess Fergie.... either way listening to FreilichMachers klezmer band (i know. i know. ) can't wait for Prof. Bruffee' s class tomorrow... counting down...

true existence

surrounded by the forest-
by the trees and by the light
with angels singing overhead
in euphoric delight.

the grasses sway together
in the early morning sun
in worlds chained by Spirit
forever passing one.

the crown did not fall
from the flaming Head of Man
to crash an indifferent world
with a pre-existant plan...

who is like a Bridge
of a spirit and of earth?
in the depths of realism
to illusionary worth?

who can find the angels
in the ever clouding mist
to create an art of Real
where only you exist?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Il pleure dans mon coeur...ill pleut doucement dur la ville.
- Arthur Rimbaud

Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville;
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui penetre mon coeur?

O bruit doux de la pluie
Par terre et sur le toits!
Pour un coeur qui s'ennuie
O le chant de la pluie!

Il pleure sans raison
Dans ce coeur qui s'ecoeure.
Qoui! nulle trahison?...
Ce dueil est sans raison.
Firstly, Happy Birthday Smirkie....
Secondly- my English class is currently learning the letter 'I'- Lea do you think next time you are in town you could bring over Lou- i think the iguana will make an impression...
Werdie- how's the super-hero kabbala novel going?
:)

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

We assert man's absolute emotions. We do not need props or legends. We create images whose realities are self-evident. Free ourselves from memory, association, nostalgia, legend, myth. Instead of making our cathedrals out of Christ, man or life, WE MAKE THEM OUT OF OURSELVES, out of our own feelings. The image we produce is understood by anyone who looks at it without nostalgic glasses of history.
- Mark Rothko (for Art 101 the dude of Trichromatic Color Theory)
it's so late... my body just can't keep up with my mind... deep night and sensation is everywhere... i must have undiagnosed adhd... me and yummy... well, all is well on the western front...think i am going to send my blogpage to my email groupees... so tired adn tea tastes like sawdust... lea i hope you finally fell asleep, g'luck on your drive tomorrow, chaya langerino thanks for your visit...



they say that the breath of the soul-
the fire seeking,

calling from the Deep
The essence of ourselves
Definition of art.
In a state where we express who we really are.
In this world

where there is often not much to inspire
A world where Angels are swamped with demons.
Praying that we cannot see
The breath taking beauty
all around us.


G'morning to all. May the morning be kind and your coffee powerful.
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...
Blessed are those that live in light.
With all color and no shame.
Children of summer.
That have returned to perfection
and dream, despite the overwhelming odds of reason.
Seeking endless chance within the hand of Life.
Blessed are your battle scars
born so proudly on your soul.
So beautiful. So real.
That i can do no more than weep.
Weep for your glorious wounded body
worn on the honored bravery of your soul.
waters of life flooded me, as i was lost in you
no breathe. no sight. no touch. nothing.
not dead. not alive.
i was free floating.
i felt no evil. no pain. no suffering.
all i knew was you.
waters burst one fateful evening.
and i saw color. i heard sound. i felt.
i screamed.
i saw your eyes and have never looked into another.
with as much admiration.
some call it honor.
some call it trust.
could it be love?
i have searched high and low
drilled into the core of humanity
and i cannot find that well
that rock of existence.
i wish to flow from that spring
of continuous energies.
i still watch you.
so much older now as you sip
deep from the earth's elusive nectar
and i wonder how.
i cannot understand
those vast oceans of blue depth.
worlds found only in your eyes-
Great. Indomitable. Moody Rock.
i am the teardrop.
i am the raindrop.
feckless water that pierces Heaven.

to mina-

It never soundly dies, grows as a wounded limb
Thudding deafly quiet on a ravine's lonely rim
Deny the pain to age, Maturity does not heal
The tumor echoes soften, despite what you feel
No questions to you, who walks with heavy eyes
That walks aimlessly, numb to the steady rise
Life shows little mercy to stars not owned by Fate
Sorrow's friend is Silence and will never birth Sedate.

my fortune cookie: YOUR SUCCESS WILL ASTONISH EVERYONE... #'S 14, 19, 25, 334, 39....
Guess the horrific General Tso's was worth it...
by the way Sar- my Starbux boycott is underway...
While today has birthed tomorrow
the comfort has found sorrow
now vultures prey
along the day
and order the sun to follow

Monday, January 24, 2005

Will there be a war at dawn?
of city demons that are too kind
To play in the darkness of polluted noise
In which ever vacancy they find?
Ah. the break of that chilly morning.
With happy new lines upon my face.
Confines me futher into restlessness
Suffocating breathing space.
Toss. Toss. Beneath heavy covers.
Strangling in the city's dead
Gazing into the deepest oblivion-
lost in my shadows---painted red.
Anonymity swirls around me
Reaches a peaceful cloud and leaps
Into the pulsing heart of the blanket
Wrapped in a spirit that cannot sleep.

Camus' wisdom

it's a matter of human dignity
this absurd mortal responsibility
to meet our single lonliness
and inflict its fatal remedy.

RED september

The leaves turned red on that autumn day
In crisp skies with no prediction of doom
Bleeding clouds of soaring darkness
Falling slowly into the crashing voices
That the whole world heard.

The leaves turned red on that autumn day
When I witnessed the people flying
Deep in the fog of forgotten angels
Flying so fast into the towering smoke
That the whole world stopped.

The leaves turned red on that autumn day
To honor the love of lost children
Testament to a passion of hatred
Memory to the bleeding heart of a city
That the whole world watches.

Today red autumn still comes
With vacant airs that bring greens and golds
Winds of sorrow that carry bloody leaves
Bearing the badge worn by the ashes
That the whole world honors.

The soul of this colored season
The fathers, mothers, sons and daughters
Whisper from the empty great blue sky
Softly rustling the leaves beneath our feet
That the whole world remembers.

WANTED: GRAPHIC ARTIST

Currently working on Kehos publication of Bereishis Study Guide for children. I am in desperate need of a graphic designer.... critical.... anyone know anyone? N.D. M. if you are reading this i hope i can guilt you into agreeing....:) :)
kewl site visit
occultopedia.com
i shall not mourn in sorrow for that which was not He
nor drown in Lethe-ward waters lost to Hippocrene
this Beauty that is dead within Provencal song
Midnight soul ascends, embers holds strong.
Get it down on paper before it disappears,
Jot it. Hold it. Catch it. Otherwise it fears-
Begone in a flash- Whisper's whim
Off in night's elusive seas and unable to swim.
DREAMS are never DESTROYED by circumstances. DREAMS are born in the HEART and mind, and only there can they ever DIE. Because while the difficult takes TIME, the IMPOSSIBLE just takes a little LONGER...
Art E. Berg
for you, Tone (Antonia Alexandria) of Duke, darling- with luv

"In the course of twenty crowded years one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can every happen to one again."
Willa Cather
"My Antonia"


i absolutely hate that 'rich girl' song. going to hyjack airwaves...

Sunday, January 23, 2005

birth of the mother

As he emerged from earth, obliviously complete
to perfect confined unity of circles and lines that meet
Slithering tongue and venom of her psyche
Breeds strife of self, mothers divine dichotomy
Eve's knowledge- flows...in the roots of a tree
Releasing great choice, an exiled reality
Wars spirit and earth, rewards of barren sod
Knows lust of sin, of blood, of death and God.
Global gray finds way, as parameters blur and wave
delicate completion burnt, obsession Beasts crave
From birth to death seek, broken cycle life tells
a unity of energies that ultimately finds ourselves.

at midnight.

a night i can never forget
nor ever redeem-
who is the bearer of the shards?
Dryad danced her warnings
in a wood that burns
with distinct fury
with melting rage
in utter destruction.
I cannot witness more acts of Death
It's too real in my eyes
it beats too pure in my heart.
You pass me-
dear brother and sister leave
Blessing wash you both
Slowly,
threading through the ashes
wreaths of earth crown you
breathes of peace adore you
rains of Heaven fall...
the winds of nature's fire
'tis too cloudy to seek the stars
a night so clear
so vivid
it burns.

What I'm Thinking...

One
must
still
have
chaos
in
oneself
to
be
able
to
give
birth
to
a
dancing
star.
-Nietzsche

Damn Snow.

parents out of town-
broken boiler...


the cold is in my bones tonight.
Now at cross roads with no Godly light
There is not time to waste on choosing
When either way leads to greater losing
Erecting the whispers between the blows
Crucify daylight to fatten teh crows
And this death offers all ethereal wings
To sacrifice art for a sainthood of things
Expression is dying of its own self disgust
I am given no choice but to hang here and rust.

in a nutshell...

word of the day: anacerbic- means brainless, works for mal-formed seals adn little sisters...
first day at this blog thing... 1:05am talking to lea who should have been on her way back to new haven...reverting back to my days of Gun n' Roses, recalling drives in the Shomron listening to November Rains...aahh the days of warm weather... speaking of which i was just in Hawaii, went to visit the awesome Kraz family and collective hula girls- N.D.M. and C.M.L. Nechama and i got to see I Luv Huckabees... properly introduced to Abraxas Bridge contacted lead singer and guitarist, insatiable curiosity can be a killer. college starts thursday, taking awesome classes, horror fiction, poetry, philo, anthro...blah blah... listening to art bell's radio program on UFO sightings....

Saturday, January 22, 2005

From Art 3.1 to Senor Picasso

Strokes shape and dominate a modern scene of prism
Chaotic negligence that erupts to breed a friendly prison
Passion's crippled movement, beguiled to survive
Waves of paint flood, burying the canvas alive.
Spaniard's eys of prophecy in words of chalky form
A wrenched sky of mourning dead beneath the storm
Hypocrisy is poisoned in the loving breath of pain
In one sketched forbidding spirit exiled to a frame.
Clashing of the riddles, trapped stairs in fading view
Ascending backward pages that fall victim to hue
The unity of theme exists, entwined by common lies
Burshes that capture a simple truth, lost in Spanish eyes...

Friday, January 21, 2005

Still moving...

so where have i been lately?
i've been to italy, london, hawaii, israel, california, out west... favorite all-time cities- Prague and Florence.... Rose and i are planning our summer Euro trip planning to include Ireland, Morroco, and Portugal...open to all suggestions.....

ALOHA

if paradise looks like this- must look into the repentance factor... absolutely magnificent- can't tell where the sea ends and the sky begins. met my professor at the Chabad house.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

2u: I.D.
From that moment i knew you
with all the goodness of my heart
in that second i was yours
with all the color
all the blackness
of my spirit.
and i wanted to run.
Run, so far i would be lost.

Friday, January 14, 2005

i have nothing to offer you.
no peace. no glory. no hope.
i cannot burn the music
nor fight the rains of smoke.
you gave trust-
i begged destiny torn-
played the silent god,
watched night mourn.
Washes of sense flood light
Hurt of hurt and not forgive.
pathetic ballad of the broken
sinner, sinner
cannot live.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

I've never seen an Angel- n'er read His book
Never tasted life from that which Adam took
No miracles have befallen hard upon my way
And i dwell still in circles- dim lights infuse the day.
I know not of pearly gates- Eden's river flow
The pass of man is common- toil's hardness sow.
I've ne'er solved the riddle why all is meant to be
Solve aware division lies amongst truth's divinity
Haven't been to Paradise nor Good's eternal cleave
As those simple eyes remain- still i will believe.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

skip skip skip to my loo, happy new year to you toooo.... Posted by Picasa
skip skip skip to my loo, happy new year to you too... Posted by Picasa

skip, skip to my lu... happy new year to you...

 Posted by Picasa